एकालाप

2012-02-08T14:37:00.000+07:00

She's all laid up in bed with a broken heart,
While I'm drinking jack all alone in my local bar,
And we don't know how,
How we got into this mad situation,
Only doing things out of frustration

Trying to make it work but man these times are hard,

She needs me now but I can't seem to find the time,
I've got a new job now on the unemployment line,
And we don't know how,
How we got into this mess
Is it god's test?
Someone help us 'cause we're doing our best,

Trying to make it work but man these times are hard

But we're gonna start by
Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,
Shit talking up all night,
Saying things we haven't for a while
A while, yeah
We're smiling but we're close to tears,
Even after all these years,
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time

She's in line at the dole
With her head held high
While I just lost my job but
Didn't lose my pride

But we both know how,
How we're gonna make it work when it hurts,
When you pick yourself up,
You get kicked to the dirt,

Trying to make it work but,
Man these times are hard,

But we're gonna start by,
Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,
Shit talking up all night,

Doing things we haven't for a while,
A while yeah,
We're smiling but we're close to tears,
Even after all these years,
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time.

Yeah.....
Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,
Shit talking up all night,
Saying things we haven't for a while,
We're smiling but we're close to tears,
Even after all these years,
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting, for the first time

Yeah for the first time
Oh for the first time,
Yeah for the first time,
(just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time)

Oh these times are hard,
Yeah they're making us crazy
Don't give up on me baby

Back again

2012-02-08T13:56:00.001+07:00

*memasuki blog dengan masker dan sapu*
Note: Kalo kalian baca blog gue, tolong pahami bahwa gue orang yang boros kata.

Whoa it's been ages since my last post ya. Ini pegel banget abis bersihin sarang laba-laba dan debu yang nutupin blog gue.
Banyak banget hal yang udah lama ngga tercurahkan dalam bentuk tulisan ke blog ini.
Bahkan gue udah lupa hal apa aja yang patut gue flashback dan tulis dalam post kali ini.

Well, Im gon' put it down some.

Februari 2011 :
Hal pertama : Gue balikan. Yes, dengan lelaki yang sama yang menjadi objek dalam post-post terakhir gue. Yang sempet memberikan efek 'darah' pada post gue. Yah, banyak alasan dibalik proses itu pastinya.

Hal kedua : Gue menua. 18 tahun. Cukup umur untuk menikah. Tapi belum ada yang mau nikahin gue.

Sebenernya banyak banget hal yang cukup berarti -baca:tragis- di 2011 yang memberikan banyak pelajaran hidup buat gue. Tapi hal itu terlalu berarti untuk ditulis bahkan dalam sebuah diary pribadi online.

And now, here I am.
8 Februari 2012.
Udah 4 hari gue berumur 19 tahun. Sudah lebih sedikit dari cukup untuk menikah. The same problem, belum ada yang mau nikahin gue. Nevermind.

Ngga tau kenapa gue excited banget ngomongin nikah. Whereas to commit to live with someone in a long period is a way hard enough for me. To be with and to live with is different. And I even cant be with just one person.

No, I am not a kind of a player. I respect the commitment. But to stay in a commitment and to seduce someone is another story for me. I am a mind-gamer *wink*

Ah, lagi-lagi post ini ngga punya benang merah. Tapi biarlah, pun gue cuma mengutarakan. Toh blog gue hanya percakapan satu arah yang tertulis.
Dan sebelum tulisan gue makin ngaco, lebih baik kita sudahi.

Merdeka atau Mati.
Salam olahraga.

2010-10-11T16:52:00.000+07:00

I am single.And lately i enjoy living my days. Finally. And i say, Alhamdulillah.

2010-09-30T07:06:00.003+07:00

Halo. Pagi, Dunia. Pagi, Kenyataan.

Mulai hari ini, saya akan tergantikan.

Well, be strong ain't just a tagline.

2010-09-16T22:06:00.000+07:00

Sakit.
Capek deh nahan-nahan perasaan kayak gini.
Rasanya mau nangis sampe mata gue copot.
Mau teriak sampe suara gue ilang.
Mau maki-maki sampe dibilang gila.
Gue capek. Banget.
Ya Tuhan.

2010-09-16T18:50:00.000+07:00

Apa lagi?

Mau apa lagi?

Masih kurang?

A Thing.

2010-09-15T20:33:00.000+07:00

Hello.
So much to feel.
So much to tell.
But i can not write them down here.
Just can not.
Seem like, words can not really express my emotion.

These happiness. Smile. Laughs. Love.
There wounds. Pain. Insecurity.
These objurgations.
These judgements.
All of it.
I am not regret you or everything either you have been given me or i have given you.
I just, hate you, now.

And i am living another story of mine.
Bye.

2010-08-30T07:26:00.000+07:00

There are times when words can't explain what is happening.
So tears talk to much for reason in return.

There are times when words can't explain the way you feel.
And tears have dried to get you clear.
And there is no one to make you cheer.

But you gotta keep standing here,
To be able to watch,
Who is gonna stay,
Who is gonna leave.

And then do move on, to decide
Who is gonna be hold,
Who is gonna be left.

And whatever comes along the way,
You gonna survive.
You gonna believe.
That there is always a way,
To be alright with all the things,
That have changed.
That have left.
With all the people,
That have came, and gone.

2010-08-22T22:56:00.001+07:00

Ya Allah, capek banget...

2010-07-25T15:32:00.002+07:00

It's our first Anniversary, and he said, fuck with 1st Anniversary.
Well. I better go.

2010-07-01T15:44:00.001+07:00

Bosan. Jenuh. Penat.

Aku. Ingin. Menghilang. Sejenak.

2010-06-13T15:23:00.005+07:00

I had a best friend but we fell apart.

Minggu, 13 Juni 2010

2010-06-13T09:40:00.000+07:00

HAPPY SUNDAYYY :)
Hari ini gue sama ibu bikin brownis kukus looch haha modal kesotoyan dan jadilah brownis kukus tapi bentuknya kayak bolu kukus haha.
Udah mana bahan-bahannya di korupsi sama si ibu ckck, harusnya telurnya 5 eh jadi 4. Harusnya pake butter tapi ngga dipakein.
Mana baru inget alat yang dipake itu buat tempat buat bolu kukus, tapi ya yang penting enak lah ya haha.
Dan untungnya, memang enak :D

Hey, please, dont judge my cake by the look.
Sebenernya di atasnya gue kasih susu kental manis, cumaa karena udah agak kelamaan jadi susunya udah agak lumer gitu, jadi ngga warna-warni deh huah. Terus gue pakein canon ball! Hahahaha. Berhubung keju habis jadi yaaa begitu lah rupa kue ketiga gue :D

2010-06-12T13:29:00.000+07:00

Tears doesn't always mean sorrow, it may also be an outlet of joy. -Ilona Andrews #ihatequotes

Laughter doesn't always mean happiness, sometimes it's just a mask. -Ilona Andrews #ihatequotes

Anger doesn't always mean hatred, it could just be a means of coping. -Ilona Andrews #ihatequotes

Silence doesn't always mean yes, it may also mean no, but its better left unsaid. -Ilona Andrews #ihatequotes

Staying away doesn't always mean its the end, it may also mean the best beginning. -Ilona Andrews #ihatequotes

Sabtu, 12 Juni 2010

2010-06-12T12:10:00.003+07:00

Aku terlunta.

Dalam suatu rasa yang terbalut asa.

Aku menghamba.

Pada suatu rasa yang memuda.

Aku meminta.

Untuknya kembali buta.

Karena kini aku terlunta.

Dalam gelap yang kucipta.

Masih terlunta.

Dalam rasa yang mendua.

Photoshoot, and the groovy-time

2010-06-08T09:59:00.003+07:00

Hellooowww fellow ;) I have done photoshots with my girls Tasya, Ulima, Aghnia, Raida, Anna, Anjani, Gemma and Asri at Dinda's Grandma's house for her mom's new boutique's website. It was such a damn fun to get photoshot with them. We never hanged out or just did some activity together so that i really appreciated it.
So sit down, relax and take a look at some photos. These are not an official photos, Dinda took it for us, as known as, behind the scene :)

The two that didn't wear dress are Yuzi (the black one) and Viky (the white one)

i love this photo! but i look fat -,-

And yasterday we held groovy-time at SushiGroove haha i dislike sushi as well, i ate sashimi -kinda delicious in first bite, but i seemed to vomit in the second bite ~~ -

Minus Ulima and Asri, so sorry :(
Well, this is the end of this post.
See ya!

KAMI BERTIGA

2010-05-30T10:12:00.006+07:00

Dalam kamar ini kami bertiga:

Aku, pisau dan kata –

Kalian tahu, pisau barulah pisau kalau ada darah di matanya

Tak peduli darahku atau darah kata

(Sapardi Djoko Damono)

Tragedi si kue part II (sepuluhbulan)

2010-05-25T11:45:00.000+07:00

Hey hari ini saya sepuluhbulanan looh hihi seneng deeeh ternyata sampai saat ini semua masih bisa dipertahankan.
Daaan hari ini lagi-lagi saya membuat kue, pun masih gagal seperti bulan sebelumnya haha. But it's my luck, this cake is smoothier than before :p
Rasanya? sepertinya lebih baik yang dulu. But it's okay, now i realize that my talent is about selling a cake, not making a cake hahaha.
Dan karena ini kuenya empuuuk, jadi ngga ada alasan lagi buat faris menjadikan kue kedua saya sebagai senjata untuk menimpuk (seperti kue pertama saya yang keras sekali itu) hahaha.
Mari kita lihat tanggapannya nanti sore :D

And my wish is.. i still can make another i-try-to-make-a-delicious-cake in the next months :)
i lova baby.

2010-05-24T18:55:00.002+07:00

Saya kecewa loh. Entah. Rasanya ingin sekali berbicara padanya tentang apa saja, seperti hari-hari kemarin. Saya ingin dia tahu apa yang sedang saya rasakan. Memang tidak mungkin jika saya tidak mengatakannya, karena dia bukan peramal.
Tapi saya takut. Takut dianggap anak kecil, karena emosi saya tercurah atas sesuatu yang mungkin sepele. Yang sebenarnya mungkin hanya menambah beban pikiran. Tapi memang begitu adanya.
Saya k-e-c-e-w-a.
Saat ini saya menginginkan dia dengan segala romantisme picisannya. Dengan segala keangkuhannya atas saya.
Tetapi, sudahlah, pun dia tidak tahu.
Bukan salah dia, sungguh.
Sudahlah lupakan, pun saya sudah terbiasa untuk menomorduakan keegoisan saya atas dirinya.
Bodoh, harusnya saya mengerti itu...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Terpaksa mengerti...

2010-05-05T19:50:00.001+07:00

Tahu apa mereka tentang kebaikannya?
Tahu apa mereka tentang cintanya?
Mungkin mereka tidak bisa melihatnya.
Tapi saya merasakannya.
Ketika percikan rasa dan asa, menyatu dalam melodi kata-kata yang tak terucap.
Menjelma dalam pautan cinta yang abu-abu.
Yang terkadang tergulingkan oleh emosi.
Yang terkadang berjalan sendiri.
Yang terkadang sulit dimengerti.
Tapi ini yang saya pilih.
Setidaknya hingga saat ini.
Bila sampai waktunya untuk berjalan sendiri, pun mungkin saya akan berlari.
Sendiri.

2010-04-17T09:06:00.003+07:00

wawewo i travelled again yasterday -with the same place and same peoples- Puncak with faris, yoga and nadia :) we went to Safari Park as we arrived there. planned to get SafariTrack, but unfortunately we could not because it just ran on Saturday and Sunday.

so we stayed there for a moment, chatted backside of the car. and as usual, faris did silly thing hahaha ckck -,- he lied on the base of the baggage! and as we know him well, he slept directly in a minutes. oh whatsoever!
just look at his pose :D

a seconds

one minute

two minutes, he had slept already!

and i didn't know why i did lie myself beside him! can you image how huge the baggage's vios with the two huge bodies inside? haha whatsoever. and then yoga tried to shut its door up, whoa i absolutely screamed well!

when i took pictures on it, suddenly yoga and nadia went inside the car, he turned it on, and BUM! it was ran around the safari park's parking area! it was such a right way to be famous haha -a car ran around parking area whom there were many peoples, with the baggage's cap opened up, and two big bodies inside- oh come on, it must be recorded!
faris relaxed, but i did not! he lied on the base, but i sat on it, holding the cap to not to shut. and then yoga did the car drift! arrgh.

from Safari Park, we went to Warung Patra. we were eating anything there. FYI, the poffercis was delicious :D woho. it tasted sweet and a bit satly, i like it! nadia even ordered it two! after that, they played capsa, i did not, cause i could not play it well -i played it once, and i got lost- so that i prefered to play PSP.

after hours, we went to Paralayang. the view was very beautiful and the air was fresh (hm i feel like writing an essay about holiday in elementary school). we could see almost an entire of Puncak, i guessed. but hey, we saw a queer thing did by a couple, there! it was so disgusting! i can't tell you here, obviously.

at 6pm we went down, and went home. we talked about another holiday in car, so see you on the next report. and happy holiday for you :) !

2010-04-13T20:32:00.000+07:00

kuliah = ke Bandung = ngekost = keluar dari rumah, yeah!

gue ngga sabar pengen cepet-cepet keluar dari rumah.

gue ngerasa makin hari keadaanya makin ngga kondusif.

gue udah mulai kehilangan gambaran atas sebuah keluarga yang hangat.

paling ngga yang gue dapet cuma gambaran dari teman-teman tentang keluarganya dan atau dari buku-buku cerita. haha. miris deh.

gue udah cukup besar untuk mengerti rasa cinta. mengerti rasa jenuh. rasa bosan. kecewa. marah.

gue udah cukup besar untuk mengetahui apa yang terjadi di sini, di antara orang-orang ini.

kekecewaan.

i dont want love to destroy me like it has done my family -pink, family portrait.

gue.. mematri kata-kata itu.

dan berusaha. berusaha untuk menepatinya.

tapi kadang gue capek. capek untuk tetap diam dan mendengar keluh-kesah tentang kekecewaan mereka terhadap satu sama lain.

capek untuk menjadi si pembawa pesan dalam rumah sendiri.

gue pengen deh teriak, ngomong gitu sama mereka kalo, haloooo, woooy, gue capek tauuuu!

tapi...

kalo gue liat wajah salah satu dari mereka, rasanya ngga tega.

tapi hey masih ada adek gue :) mungkin dia bisa melakukan hal-hal baik ,yang sudah gue pasrahkan, untuk merubah semua ini.

dan gue selalu berharap gue cuma mimpi, terus besok gue bangun, terus tiba-tiba ayah ibu ngajak liburan bareng sekeluarga :D

horeeee, mimpi yang indah kalo saja memang ini mimpi.

karena gue bahkan sudah hampir lupa bagaimana rasanya liburan sekeluarga...

2010-04-13T15:45:00.001+07:00

hey hey im looklet-ing now, here are my looks :)
check out my page

2010-03-29T11:18:00.004+07:00

Astaghfirullahaladzim, sabaaar Ka, sabar.

2010-03-20T23:30:00.000+07:00

sudahlah...

aku menyerah...

pun dia juga...

2010-03-14T23:51:00.001+07:00

"...anggap aja ini kado ulang tahun aku..."

maaf yaa..

2010-03-13T05:14:00.002+07:00

I miss you so damn much.

There's so much things to tell you.

And listen, wherever you are, how i wonder how you are.

2010-03-11T16:33:00.002+07:00

Sometimes you've gotta let go, just to see if there was anything worth holding on to.

2010-03-10T17:46:00.003+07:00

i.hate.it

Semua Tak Sama - Padi

2010-03-09T14:23:00.000+07:00

Dalam benakku lama tertanam
sejuta bayangan dirimu
Redup terasa cahaya hati
Mengingat apa yang telah engkau berikan

Waktu berjalan lambat mengiring
dalam titian takdir hidupku
Cukup sudah aku tertahan
dalam persimpangan masa silamku

Coba tuk melawan getir yang terus kukecap
Meresap ke dalam relung sukmaku
Coba tuk singkirkan aroma nafas tubuhmu
Mengalir mengisi laju darahku

Semua tak sama .. tak pernah sama
Apa yang kusentuh apa yang kukecup
Sehangat pelukmu .. selembut belaimu
Tak ada satupun yang mampu menjadi sepertimu

Apalah arti hidupku ini memapahku dalam ketiadaan
Segalanya luruh lemah tak bertumpu
Hanya bersandar pada dirimu
Ku tak bisa, sungguh tak bisa
mengganti dirimu dengan dirinya

Coba tuk melawan getir yang terus kukecap
Meresap ke dalam relung sukmaku
Coba tuk singkirkan aroma nafas tubuhmu
Mengalir mengisi laju darahku

Sampai kapan kau terus bertahan
Sampai kapan kau tetap tenggelam
Sampai kapan kau mesti terlepas
Buka mata dan hatimu relakan semua ..

2010-02-25T22:26:00.001+07:00

Hari ini gue 7bulanan sama faris :) ngga nyangka bisa bertahan sampe saat ini alhamdulillah,. Mudah2an tetep awet sampe nanti biarpun terancam akan LDR :D

Daaaaan last but not least, gue keterima pmdk telkom, ALHAMDULILLAAAAAH :) hippie, Bandung, im comiiing woho.

Sekian kabar malam ini, see ya :)

it was such an ohmyGod-what-the-hell-is-this-going !

2010-02-24T22:47:00.000+07:00

whoa whoa whoa.
jadi kan yaaa tadi gue try out cuma satu pelajaran doang, jadi pulangnya jam9an gitchuu :D
nah terus gue main tuh ke rumah faris sama yoga dan andia. Lalala, main-main, nonton dvd, tidur, makan hoho. Sampe sore tuh gue disana, sampe busuk saking lamanya dan ngga ada kerjaan -,- nah teruus kan ya pas faris lagi tidur, tiba-tiba ada paket kiriman parfum-yang-ditunggu-tunggu-setengah-mati-sama-faris. langsung yekan sigap deh itu anak bangun. udah gitu pas abis ngambil paket, eh dia tiba-tiba teriak, 'mampus mampus bokap gue yog!'

NAHLOOOOOO kelabakan deh kita langsung beres-beres! cepat-cepit kalo kata bu teo). sumpaah heran abis gue bokapnya faris pulang jam segitu, jam 4 meeen, padahal biasanya jam 11an ke atas ckck.terus kan gue sama adia buru-buru pake sepatu kan di pintu belakang, tapiiii yaaa bokapnya faris itu lewat pintu belakang masuknya OHMYGOD abis paraaah panik kan tuh gue berdua ngga tau mau ngeles apaan kalo misalnya nanti ketemu di dapur. mana faris sama yoga belom kasih tau rencananya lagi gawat banget deh.

nah untungnyaaa pembantunya faris yang baik hati setia kawan dan tidak sombong memberikan ide cemerlang nyuruh gue sama nadia ngumpet di ruang tamu, which is adalah satu-satunya tempat yang teramat jarang dijamah. tapiii si faris ngga punya kunci pintu depan! ALAMAK! yaudah deh gue sama nadia akhirnya ngumpet di belakang bufet yang ngebatesin ruang tamu sama ruang keluarga.

terus tiba-tiba gue liat sekilas lengannya bokapnya faris gitu langsung gue cepet2 nyuruh nadia ngerapet. sumpaaah gue gemeteran abis whoaaaa ga kebayang kalo kita ketauan terus posisinya lagi merapat ke lemari, berdua, cewe semua. ckck i can't imagine. dan si faris kan abis itu basa-basi dulu , mana lama lagi basa-basinya yaoloh gue udah gemeteran ini. nah untungnya ga lama kemudian bokapnya masuk kamar, dan pembantunya yang sangat baik itu dan mempunyai halo di atas kepalanya (tidak) itu cepet2 nyuruh kita keluar. udah deh tuh gue sama nadia langsung ngibrit keluar pager. mana pagernya bunyi2 gitu lagi aduh serem abis takutnya bokapnya ngeliat lewat jendela kamarnya yang langsung ke gerbang terus ngegrebek kita (oke kesannya kaya psk di taman2 gitu yang dirazia kamtib haha)

daaan sampailah kita di pos di lapangan deket rumahnya faris whoa it's such a dramatic action! mudah-mudahan gue ngga trauma main kesana hahaha sial.

2010-02-22T20:34:00.000+07:00

i..
..
..
..
..
feel him.

2010-02-20T11:08:00.000+07:00

by chairunisha wardani :)

for you, who is sitting behind my back.

2010-02-17T23:21:00.001+07:00

Dear Dad,
I am sorry for being your everything, but make you feel like nothing.
But this time, i really do hate you.
I am so sorry, you disappoint me.
You don't change your behaviour.
You don't be what we want you to be.
You don't do anything to consolidate this relation.
I.........
Am.....
So.......
Sorry...

PS: It hurts to say this.

again, baby, sorry.

2010-02-16T20:14:00.001+07:00

i hurt you for times. i broke my promises to you :( but i keep begging your pardon and you, you give me. you still forgive me, give me a chance, or try to forget it and pretend to be okay. i just, feel like, 'Gosh, what have i done ?'

again, i apologize for stupid things.
for everything i promise you.
for every promise i broke.
but one thing i know, i do, i promise for sure i will,
I swear to God, I Love You.

untuk dia, teman saya.

2010-02-11T20:27:00.000+07:00

gue juga pernah kok merasa kesepian.feel like i don't belong anywhere. seperti mempunyai tetapi tidak memiliki. seperti terombang-ambing, pindah dari satu teman ke teman lain hanya untuk tidak berdiri sendiri di tengah keramaian. hanya untuk menggambarkan, 'gue bersama mereka kok' dan mempunyai seseorang untuk sekedar berbasa-basi. gue juga pernah kok :) dan mungkin sekarang sedang seperti itu. be strong yaa sayang. biarpun gue mungkin teman yang sekedar lewat, but heey i adore you :)

*untuk teman saya, terinspirasi setelah membaca blognya.

2010-01-28T20:24:00.000+07:00

i miss my brother.

wow.

2010-01-27T21:23:00.000+07:00

every moment spent with you is a moment i treasure <3

6 months being with him :)

2010-01-25T22:14:00.000+07:00

halo halo hari ini gue 6bulanan loh sama faris huehe ngga nyangka udah lama banget yaaa :) sebenernya perayaan 6bulanannya agak cacat -tepatnya memang cacat, bukannya agak-. mengapa menjadi cacat ?

1. kan gue lagi pengeeeen banget photobox kaaan, nah hari sabtu kemaren tuh gue jalan sama faris, sama yoga dan nadia juga. yaa double date lah itungannya. tapi ke bengkel z -,- soalnya kan emang bukan niat jalan, cuma mau nemenin mereka benerin motor doang haha. nah abis itu karena kita mau photobox kita mampirlah ke blok m plaza, which is tadinya mau ke pim cuma gue mualeees banget gatau kenapa males liat pim jadi cendol sama AGJ pim. pas sampe di photobox, tadinya kita mau foto berempat gitu cuma karena tempatnya kecil -yaa lo tau lah gimana ukurannya- dan cowoknya pada gede-gede, jadinya kita berdua-dua, dan yang pertama foto adalah gue sama faris. DAAAAN disinilah kebodohan dimulai! gue salah pencet tombol aaaaaw jadilah kita cuma foto SATU KALI untuk harga Rp 20.000 -,- terus kan jelek nah maksud gue mau foto ulang kan, dan lagi-lagi kebodohan terjadi, gue SALAAH PENCET LAGI dan akhirnya itu foto cacat ewh najong dicetaklaaaaaah gede-gede ukuran 4R omaygot itu cengo abis. seandainya gue ngga terlalu malu untuk mempublikasikan foto itu :D mungkin sejak kata-kata ini tertulis lo gabisa berenti ketawa!

2. naaah sampailah kita di hari minggu yang ceriaaa, sehari sebelum gue 6bulanan. kan gue tau kalo faris mau kasih gue hadiah kaan, nah terus gue ngga mau kalah doong. gue mesti bikin sesuatu yang surprise. yang mengharukan. yang bombastis! masa kalah romantis sama cowok? maluuu dong yah biarpun faris sendiri yang bilang gue ga romantis wakakakak. dan jadilah gue terpikir untuk bikin kue. KUE! KUEEE MAAAN! masak tumis sayur aja gue ngga becus. dengan semangat 2010 (tahun kejadian) pun gue membeli bahan-bahannya dan nyari-nyari alat-alatnya yang udah melayang ngga tau dimana karena udah lama ngga dipake. terus gue panggilan tante gue sebagai tutor memasak kali ini. pertama-tama udah pesimis duluan soalnya mixer gue ternyata ngga bisa dipake :gubrak: akhirnya olahraga lah gue sama tante gue ganti-gantian buat ngocok adonannya :fuih: terusss abis itu udah kan dimasukin ke dalem oven. dari awal sih kita udah prediksi ini gue bakalan bantet. dan ternyataaa mengembang maaaan! woho seneeng deh gue jingkrak-jingkrak sama tante guesambil berangkulan tangan dan menari-nari dibawah indahnya sang rembulan. okay jayus -,- nah terus kan karena mengembangnya belom merata, kita tambahin waktunyaa. nah pas udah mau diangkat dan dibalik, JEEEEEENGGG JEEEEEEEENG akhirnya diketahuilah mengapa itu permukaan kue naik ke atas seperti mengembang. ternyata bawahnya pun IKUTAN NAIK KEATAS (coba bayangkan) dan gosoooong OH NO OH YEEEESSSS! dan pas gue rasain, kuenya keraaas ih parah abis deh haha. yaudah kan tetep optimis gue pun mulai ngolesin cream dan cokelat. creamnya juga cacaaaaaaaaaaat soalnya kurang mengembang juga :shit man: tadinya kue ini mau dijadiin tester terus nanti gue bikin lagi yang baru. tapi berhubung gue udah maleees jadi yaa kue itulah yang gue kasih ke faris HAHAHAHA.

3. TADI FARIS DATENG KETIKA ITU KUE BARU GUE KELUARIN DARI KULKAS. NAH LO BAYANGIN AJA TUH kue udah bantet dimasukin kulkas hahaha. pas faris dateng terus belah kuenya, karena keras kan jadi susah yaaa dipotongnya, jadi dia ngacung-ngacungin itu kue yang masih nancep di pisau sambil teriak-teriak kayak Jenderal Sudirman lagi perang lawan Belanda. OOH GREAAAT BREAKTROUGH GUEEEEEE DIJADIIN LELUCON!!

4. gue bakal tetep optimis bisa bikin kue!LIAT AJAYAAA FARIS kampret nanti ulang taun lu gue kadoin kue bikinan gue sendiri lagi LIAT AJA tunggu pembalasan gue! hahahaha.

2010-01-22T20:30:00.002+07:00

bismillah.

keterima pmdk telkom, amin.

2010-01-20T17:44:00.000+07:00

gue capek.
dipaksa untuk begini.
dipaksa untuk begitu.
padahal semua terbatas.
keadaan membatasi itu semua.
keadaan memaksa gue menutup mata.
menghentikan segala harapan tinggi.
sekarang saatnya berdamai.
berdamai dengan kenyataan gue ngga bisa memiliki semua.
keadaan memaksa gue untuk berhenti berharap terlalu tinggi.
keadaan.
memaksa.
mengapa ?

2010-01-14T21:05:00.000+07:00

Can't believe I had a boy like you and I just let you walk right outta my life,

After all I put you through you still stuck around and stayed by my side,

What really hurt me is I broke your heart, baby you're a good boy and I had no right.

Never thought the day would come where you would get up and run and I would be out chasing you.

(Lonely, Akon)

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

(Fix you, Coldplay)

2010-01-12T21:11:00.000+07:00

Words women use and what they really mean.

2010-01-10T11:47:00.001+07:00

Fine - This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up.
Five Minutes - This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the rubbish, so it’s an even trade.
Nothing - This means “something”, and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards
Go Ahead - At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
Go Ahead (With Raised Eyebrows) - This is a dare.
Go Ahead (Neutral Expression) - This means “I give up” or “do what you want because I don’t care”.
Loud Sigh - This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you.
Soft Sigh - Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. “Soft Sighs” mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.
That’s Okay - This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done.
Please Do - This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful.
Thanks - A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you’re welcome.
Thanks A Lot - This is much different from “Thanks.” A woman will say, “Thanks A Lot” when she is really ticked off at you.

found on tumblr.

88 important truths about life

2010-01-10T11:28:00.000+07:00

1. You can’t change other people, and it’s rude to try.
2. It is 100 times more difficult to burn calories than to refrain from consuming them in the first place.
3. If you’re talking to someone you don’t know well, you may be talking to someone who knows way more about whatever you’re talking about than you do.
4. The cheapest and most expensive models are usually both bad deals.
5. Everyone likes somebody who gets to the point quickly.
6. Bad moods will come and go your whole life, and trying to force them away makes them run deeper and last longer.
7. Children are remarkably honest creatures until we teach them not to be.
8. If everyone in the show you’re watching is good-looking, it’s not worth watching.
9. Yelling always makes things worse.
10. Whenever you’re worried about what others will think of you, you’re really just worried about what you’ll think of you.
11. Every problem you have is your responsibility, regardless of who caused it.
12. You never have to deal with more than one moment at a time.
13. If you never doubt your beliefs, then you’re wrong a lot.
14. Managing one’s wants is the most powerful skill a person can learn.
15. Nobody has it all figured out.
16. Cynicism is far too easy to be useful.
17. Every passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours.
18. Whenever you hate something, it hates you back: people, situations and inanimate objects alike.
19. Ralph Waldo Emerson’s works alone can teach you everything you need to know about living with grace and happiness.
20. People embellish everything, as a rule.
21. Anger reveals weakness of character, violence even moreso.
22. Humans cannot destroy the planet, but we can destroy its capacity to keep us alive. And we are.
23. When people are uncomfortable with the present moment, they fidget with their hands or their minds. Watch and see.
24. Those who complain the most, accomplish the least.
25. Putting something off makes it instantly harder and scarier.
26. Credit card debt devours souls.
27. Nobody knows more than a minuscule fraction of what’s going on in the world. It’s just way too big for any one person to know it well.
28. Most of what we see is only what we think about what we see.
29. A person who is unafraid to present an unedited version of herself to the world is as rare as diamonds.
30. The most common addiction in the world is the draw of comfort. It wrecks dreams and breaks people.
31. If what you’re doing feels perfectly safe, there is probably a better course of action.
32. The greatest innovation in the history of humankind is language.
33. Blame is the favorite pastime of those who dislike responsibility.
34. Everyone you meet is better than you at something.
35. Proof is nothing but a collection of opinions that match one’s own.
36. Knowledge is belief, nothing more.
37. Indulging your desires is not self-love.
38. What makes human beings different from animals is that animals can be themselves with ease.
39. Self-examination is the only path out of misery.
40. Whoever you are, you will die. To know and understand that means you are alive.
41. Revenge is for the petty and irresponsible.
42. Getting truly organized can vastly improve anyone’s life.
43. Almost every cliché contains a truth so profound that people have been compelled to repeat it until it makes you roll your eyes. But the wisdom is still in there.
44. People cause suffering when they are suffering themselves. Alleviating their suffering will probably remove their inclination to create it for others.
45. High quality is worth any quantity, in possessions, friends and experiences.
46. The world would be a better place if everyone read National Geographic.
47. If you aren’t happy single, you won’t be happy in a relationship.
48. Even if it costs no money, nothing is free if it takes time.
49. Emotions exist to make us heavily biased towards or against something. This hinders as often as it helps.
50. Addiction is a much greater problem in society than it’s made out to be. It’s present in every person in various forms, but usually we call it something else.
51. “Gut feeling” is not just a euphemism. Tension in the abdomen speaks volumes about how you truly feel about something, beyond all arguments and rationales.
52. Posture and dress change profoundly how you feel about yourself and how others feel about you, like it or not.
53. Everyone thinks they’re an above average driver.
54. The urge to punish others has much more to do with venting frustration than correcting behavior.
55. By default, people think far too much.
56. If anything is worth splurging on, it’s a high-quality mattress. You’ll spend a third of your life using it.
57. There is nothing worse than having no friends.
58. To write a person off as worthless is an act of great violence.
59. Try as we might to be otherwise, we are all hypocrites.
60. Justice is a human invention which is in reality rarely achievable, but many will not hesitate to destroy lives demanding it.
61. Kids will usually understand exactly what you mean if you keep it to one or two short sentences.
62. Stuff that’s on sale usually has an annoying downside.
63. Casual swearing makes people sound dumb.
64. Words are immensely powerful. One cruel remark can wound someone for life.
65. It’s easy to make someone’s day just by being uncommonly pleasant to them.
66. Most of what children learn from their parents isn’t taught on purpose.
67. The secret ingredient is usually butter, in obscene amounts.
68. It is worth re-trying foods that you didn’t like at first.
69. Problems, when they arise, are rarely as painful as the act of fearing them.
70. Nothing — ever — happens exactly like you pictured it.
71. North Americans are generally terrible at accepting compliments and offers of help.
72. There are not enough women in positions of power. The world has suffered from this deficit for a long time.
73. When you break promises to yourself, you feel terrible. When you make a habit of it, you begin to hate yourself.
74. A good nine out of ten bad things I worry about never happen. A good nine out of ten bad things that did happen never occurred to me to worry about.
75. You can’t hide a bad mood from people who know you well, but you can always be polite.
76. Sometimes you have to remove certain people from your life, even if they’re family.
77. Anyone can be calmed in an instant by looking at the ocean or the stars.
78. There is no point finishing a book you aren’t enjoying. Life is too short for that. Swallow your pride and put it down for good, unfinished.
79. There is no correlation between the price of a brand of batteries and how long they last.
80. Breaking new ground only takes a tiny amount more effort than you’re used to giving.
81. Life is a solo trip, but you’ll have lots of visitors. Some of them are long-term, most aren’t.
82. One of the best things you can do for your kids is take them on road trips. I’m not a parent, but I was a kid once.
83. The fewer possessions you have, the more they do for you.
84. Einstein was wiser than he was intelligent, and he was a genius.
85. When you’re sick of your own life, that’s a good time to pick up a book.
86. Wishing things were different is a great way to torture yourself.
87. The ability to be happy is nothing other than the ability to come to terms with how things change.
88. Killing time is an atrocity. It’s priceless, and it never grows back.

article i found while stumbling on tumblr.com by arielchollet on january 10.2010.

for my beloved girl-friend

2010-01-10T10:54:00.001+07:00

this is,

for fun and for love.

my beloved friend, heza aria raspati :)

2010-01-10T10:27:00.000+07:00

we made up :)

2010-01-09T15:17:00.000+07:00

on the shuffle songs,

1. already gone, kelly clarkson.
2. cry me out, pixie lott.
3. broken hearted girl, beyonce.
4. fix you, coldplay.
5. better that we break, maroon 5.

im trying to lalala :)

am i wasting you and your time?

2010-01-09T13:14:00.002+07:00

sejak hari ini rasanya semua ngga akan sama lagi.
semua.
kita.
atau mungkin perasaan kita.
rasanya seperti berpura-pura.
bukan. bukan pura-pura merasakan rasa sayang yang memang harus selalu ada,
tapi berpura-pura untuk menerima, mengiklaskan segala kata yang pernah terucap.
berpura-pura untuk mengatakan hati ini tidak terluka.
akankah ini semua menjadi sia-sia?
sia-sia, seperti apa yang lo rasakan untuk usaha lo.
usaha lo untuk gue.

2010-01-08T23:25:00.000+07:00

Fill what's empty.
Empty what's full.
Scratch where it itches.

-Alice Roosevelt Longworth-

i have my own price.

2010-01-08T22:50:00.001+07:00

gue tau ini salah gue.
tapi apa harus kata-kata itu yang keluar dari mulut lo ?
lo gatau sih ya gimana rasanya jadi cewe yang dibilang murahan.
that is the biggest girl's enemy. dibilang murahan.
haha murahan ya?
gue.murahan.
......
gue.dibilang.murahan.
dua.kali.
dengan alasan yang sama.
oleh orang yang sama.
apa sih definisi lo tentang murahan ? tentang cewe murahan ?
yang minta dianter kemana-mana ?
gue minta anter temen gue, temen deket gue, yang gue udah deket sebelum kenal elo, dan gue dibilang murahan ?
lo bilang gue ngga ngehargain lo.
mungkin gue pernah ngga menghargai lo.
i admit it, and im sorry.
tapi elo bilang gue murahan.
halo, bung, saya juga punya harga.
no pain, no gain, Sir.
bahkan ketika lo bilang gue murahan, gue minta maaf.
minta maaf atas apa yang lo sebut untuk gue.
kalo itu yang lo sebut menghargai, then you just wrong.
now, i have something to ask.

bagaimana cara untuk menjadi mahal ?

2010-01-01T21:34:00.001+07:00

Why do we close our eyes when we sleep, when we cry, when we imagine, when we kiss?
This is because the most beautiful thing in the world NOT LOOKS.

We're all a little weird? and life itself is also a bit weird?.
And when we find someone who is in line with our uniqueness,
We joined him and fell into a similar oddity called LOVE.

again.

2009-12-23T15:24:00.002+07:00

2009-12-20T20:32:00.000+07:00

semoga gue ngga perlu memaksa untuk tertawa.

2009-12-14T20:50:00.000+07:00

padahal gue lagi pengen banget sama dia.
gue emang egois.

ih waw

2009-12-12T23:10:00.000+07:00

halo ih waw tau ngga gue bete banget haha. ngga penting sih, emang, okay, dan gue menyadari itu.

i think i need something out of the box. uncommon. being.different.dong.ka.ayooo. hahaha bosen nih begini-begini aja ngga ada yang asik. lama-lama semua jadi sama aja. sama-sama absurd hahaha.

bunuh reality

2009-12-11T19:55:00.000+07:00

ini lagunya titi kamal. okay, let's skip the singer. gue suka sama liriknya, actually ini gara-gara heza yang mencecoki gue dengan kata-kata ini. dan gue pikir, bagus juga :)

Berbisik, bila kau kan berbicara
Menangis, saat kau bahagia
Bukalah mata meski kau tertidur
Karna mimpi berlangsung sesaat

Cinta lahir untuk mati
Agar kau mengerti, bunuh reality
Ikut saja mata hati
Meski kau sendiri, bunuh reality

bunuh reality. buat realita baru yang lebih berwarna. mungkin itu akan sedikit menyegarkan.

sosiologi oh sosiologi

2009-12-11T19:10:00.000+07:00

gue kira tugas penelitian sosial dan kawankawannya yang menyebalkan sudah selesai. tamat. the end. hapy ending. eeeh ternyata presentasi masih menunggu di hari selasa. owh this is shit, baby. this is shit, lagunya michael jackson.

cruel and messy!

2009-12-07T22:15:00.001+07:00

hey hey hey hey heeeeeeeeeeeeyyyy im back dengan segala ketidakteraturan dalam otak gue -,- bener-bener lagi tumpang tindih, nabrak-nabrak z. deadline tugas kelompok-yang-kaya-bukan-tugas-kelompok-soalnya-gue-kerja-sendiri, uan lah, nilai-nilai kurang lah, berantem sama farislah, apalah aaa rasanya kayak lagi di blender deh.

daaaaaaaaaaaaan hari ini gue tambah suntuk soalnya tadi kan gue ke dufan sama ania, rara, uli, naik transjakarta dan ituuuu sangat penuh dan macet dan melelahkan ohmygod banget deh. perginya kita udah kayak pembantu, kucel gara-gara naik transjakarta yang penuh naujubilah -dari halte senen ke ancol- jadinya kita desek-desekkan kayak ikan teri (maklum deh dufan lagi diskon 50% haha beginilah orang-orang yang gila diskon). terus pulangnya kayak gembel gara-gara kita udah capek berdiri di transjakarta terus jalan dari haltenya jauuh banget dan ngantri wahana dufannya sangat bikin sakit hati huek.

intinya so much for today deh ahaha. yaah biarpun kalo dirunut sebenernya hari ini sangat amat sial soalnya sekarang betis gue mulai terasa nyut-nyutan. and last, thanks to mbak-mbak-berhooottttpants-bertanktop-berkulithitamkucel-berbedaknggarata-danmiripj*bl*y di depan gue pas ngantri tornado, lo telah berkontribusi banyak dalam memberikan bahan tertawaan yang segar sekaligus dosa yang banyak buat gue dan ania :D

sekian, terima kasih.
see you :)

Suropati, 22 November 2009

2009-11-23T20:10:00.001+07:00

Harusnya gue ke bedah kampus sama faris, cuma malees banget, ngantrinya itu loh hih bikin ngantuk. terus jadinya kita jalan-jalan deh :) berhubung suasana hati gue lagi ngga bagus dan sedikit kelabu, jadi yaa sebenernya hari itu awalnya ngga berjalan terlalu bagus.

Pulang dari try out faris jemput gue kan, jam 12an gitu -,- panaaas coy. tadinya kita mau nonton 2012 di teraskota, cuma kayaknya udah ngga ada gitu. akhirnya kita ke aztec, soalnya kita ngga ada ide juga mau kemana lagi.

Abis dari situ gue ngajakin faris ke taman suropati. Untungnyaaaa pas sampe sana ngga panas, sejuk banget malah haha asik. Terus disana ternyata lagi ada kumpulan orang-orang yang latihan biola hmm nice :)

Sampe beberapa saat gue masih kelabu gitchuu, terus gue iseng-iseng nulis di tangannya faris, pas gue lagi nulis emote, tiba-tiba air mata gue udah jatoh gitu kena tangan dia (ghahaha okeoke ini memang tersengar sedikit dangdut dan skenario sih) terus langsung deh gue nangis ahuahua daaan pas banget lagi itu orang-orang memainkan biola mereka. jadilah tangisan gue diiringi oleh suara biola yang meyayat hati (akakakak rada ewh juga gue nulis bagian ini :D )

Terus pas udah selesai nangis, faris gantian nulis di tangan gue. terus abis itu kita ketawa-ketawa deh, ngobrol-ngobrol sambil makan gulali yang gue beli mayestik pas nemenin faris makan.

Haaaaah i love that moment! biarpun agak-agak dangdut dan sinetron siih hahaha dan heeey, 2hari lagi gue 4bulanan loh :)

iloveyouuuu gendut :D

help.

2009-11-21T20:39:00.000+07:00

i wanna cry :'( ...

a monologue

2009-11-18T20:51:00.000+07:00

tadi gue dapet pengarahan dari guru. tentang UAN yang semakin maju dengan peraturan moving school nya dan ternyata juga dalam satu kelas nanti akan ada anak-anak dari sekolah lain. kayak SPMB. dan itu artinya akan ada dua pressure yang akan gue dan juga angkatan 2010 di semua sekolah rasakan, tekanan akademik dan tekanan mental. dimana kita akan UAN di tempat yang sama sekali ngga kita kenal. dengan orang-orang yang juga ngga kita kenal. well, mungkin ada beberapa, tapi tetep aja kan semuanya beda.

guru gue bilang ini merupakan hal yang besar dan berat. dan untuk menghadapinya dibutuhkan usaha yang gila. berlebihan. ngotot. disini gue menarik kesimpulan, kalau keadaan membuat kita gila, kita harus lebih gila lagi untuk menyelesaikannya.

dan oke, biarkan gue selesaikan babak SMA gue dengan hasil yang memuaskan. cukup sudah gue bermain-main. it's time to make them proud of me. let's pray! semoga gue ngga kehilangan semangat, harapan, usaha, dan doa.

family portrait

2009-11-17T21:56:00.000+07:00

Can we work it out?
Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better
Mommy, I'll do anything

In our family portrait
We look pretty happy
Let's play pretend
Act like it goes naturally..

and blablabla

2009-11-17T21:47:00.000+07:00

it has been a hard and tired days, fuih. bahkan buat posting aja gue ngga sempet. padahal sebenernya banyaak banget yang mau gue gue ceritain.

1. gue harus ngerjain tugas-tugas yang masih kosong buat mengisi nilai dan juga ngejar guru-guru mata pelajaran yang nilai gue masih kurang atau butuh remed.

2. gue disibukkan dengan tugas penelitian sosial yaaang satu kelompok cuma berdua (gue sama tyo) dan dengan sewenang-wenang, itu anak jarang masuk dan jarang membantu. huuuuu dasar emang tuh si gendut! haha.

3. belajaaaaaar! gue udah merasakan 'indahnya' jadi anak kelas 12. stressnya mempelajari materi-materi dari kelas 10. disibukkan dengan try out2 ( not yet but will ), bimbel, psikotes, tes toefl, and bla bla bla.

4. UAN di depan mata! haloo, pertengahan maret itu waktu yang cukup pendek, saudara! apalagi denger-denger UAN angkatan gue, ada moving school dengan sekolah satu rayon lain.

GILA! itu yang gue pikir pertama kali denger omongan kayak gitu. UAN aja udah bikin stress, apalagi pake moving school segala! yang suasananya bener-bener beda, kita ngga kenal. dan katanya juga yang moving school itu per setengah kelas, which is cuma 20 orang. waaaah ngga kebayang deh gue.

5. gue pusing banget sekarang karena nulis 4 hal diatas bikin otak gue mau pecah dan mata gue mau merem.

6. gue sadar cuma punya satu solusi buat masalah nomor 5, liburan!

7. bad news, nomor 6 itu sangat impossible dilakukan pada hari-hari sekarang :(

8. the point is, gue tetap pusing.

gue paham posting gue agak ngga meaning, but it's alright karena blog ini punya gue hahaha.

warung pasta with faris hilman.

2009-11-08T18:45:00.001+07:00

kemarin gue jalan sama faris looh :) setelah selama hampir 4 bulan ini gue jaraang banget jalan sama dia malem minggu. sebenernya kemarin itu gue ngga boleh main gara-garanya beberapa hari kemarin gue pulang malem atau pagi terus :( tapiii setelah spik spik dikit sama si ayah, gue bisa keluar deh haha. dan untungnya ibu lagi pergi jadi ngga begitu susah spiknya :D

rencananya kita cuma mau ke aztec doang, nongkrong sama anak-anak invert. terus sampe kesana, si faris malah nanya, gue mau ke warung pasta atau ngga. jelaas lah karena gue lagi ngidam pasta yas. haha.

sampe sana mesti waiting list dulu -,- mana nunggunya sambil berdiri yeah mati gaya dikiit. pas udah dapet meja langsung deh kita mesen gapake lama gapake babibu -soalnya kita berdiri di deket meja menu, jadi sambil nunggu sambil milih-milih dan ngitung harga haha-

huaaam finally, i ate cheesy freezy again! haha parah banget gue kayak orang norak nan kampungan kalo makan pasta disitu :D terus faris dengan sotoynya mesen dua makanan, yang satu fetucinni satu lagi nasi yang di melt sama keju gitu, gue lupa namanya apa.

di depan pasta yang dipanggang sama keju, terus nasi yang dilumurin keju, kita langsung lupa sama diet. what the hell is 'diet' ? it's such an orgasm in food! itu yang gue pikir pas makan. tapi pas semua udah abis, terus gue melihat bentuk perut gue, tralaaaaa rasa-rasanya gue pulangnya mau sambil lari aja deh!

terus pulangnya kita ke aztec lagi. udah muter-muter masuknya -soalnya pos parkirnya udah ditutup- pas sampe sana eh anak-anak udah pada pulang z yaudah deh akhirnya gue juga dianterin pulang sama dia.

yeah haha padahal niatnya nongkrong, eh malah jadinya malem mingguan :D

Enough.

2009-11-06T14:59:00.001+07:00

it seems like things around me are spinning so fast. please stop. sementara gue mencoba melihat, mendengar, merasakan. memilah apa yang harus dilakukan terlebih dahulu tanpa harus banyak kehilangan waktu.

prepare for better future

2009-11-05T18:58:00.000+07:00

Shut up and put your money where your mouth is

-Katy Perry , Waking up in Vegas-

Yeah.

Shut up.

Hari ini gue mendengar banyak orang yang berbicara ngga penting. Berkomentar. Dan hampir semuanya ngga bermutu.

Bukannya gue ngga suka sama komentar atau berkomentar loh. Gue cuma lagi ngga mood aja buat berkomentar atau mendengarkan komentar. Biarpun itu bukan ditujukan untuk gue. Hey, can you shut your mouth up for a while and let them do what they wanna do ? -tolong ingatkan saya akan kata-kata ini-

Mungkin gue juga akan diam sejenak.

Mencoba tidak peduli akan hidup orang lain.

Dan mencoba mempedulikan hidup gue.

Mempedulikan masa depan gue.

It's time to make up my desk.

And reassemble those school books.

And start.. study!

Im in ~~last~~ grade, dude!

you fvck!

2009-11-02T21:52:00.001+07:00

yea terpaksa deh gue ngumpulin uang dari awal :(

haru biru

2009-11-01T15:17:00.000+07:00

jumat malam hingga minggu siang mengharu biru menghasilkan bentuk mata yang sebesar bakso -,-

hey youuu both, ~~fcvk~~ youuu!

love it!

2009-10-30T23:19:00.001+07:00

this song is sooo me, now.

Do you ever feel like breaking down?

Do you ever feel out of place?

Like somehow you just don’t belong

And no one understands you

Do you ever wanna run away?

Do you lock yourself in your room?

With the radio on turned up so loud

That no one hears you screaming

No you don’t know what it’s like

When nothing feels alright

You don’t know what it’s like to be like me

To be hurt

To feel lost

To be left out in the dark

To be kicked

When you’re down

To feel like you’ve been pushed around

To be on the edge of breaking down

And no one’s there to save you

No you don’t know what it’s like

Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?

Are you sick of feeling so left out?

Are you desperate to find something more

Before your life is over?

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?

Are you sick of everyone around?

With the big fake smiles and stupid lies

While deep inside you’re bleeding

No you don’t know what it’s like

When nothing feels alright

You don’t know what it’s like to be like me

To be hurt

To feel lost

To be left out in the dark

To be kicked

When you’re down

To feel like you’ve been pushed around

To be on the edge of breaking down

And no one’s there to save you

No you don’t know what it’s like

Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face

And no one ever stabbed you in the back

You might think I’m happy

But I’m not gonna be okay!

Everybody always gave you what you wanted

You never had to work it was always there

You don’t know what it’s like

What it’s like!

To be hurt

To feel lost

To be left out in the dark

To be kicked

When you’re down

To feel like you’ve been pushed around

To be on the edge of breaking down

And no one’s there to save you

No you don’t know what it’s like (what it's like)

To be hurt

To feel lost

To be left out in the dark

To be kicked

When you’re down

To feel like you’ve been pushed around

To be on the edge of breaking down

And no one’s there to save you

No you don’t know what it’s like

Welcome to my life

barbi(e)tch.

2009-10-30T23:08:00.001+07:00

tadi gue ke senayan, ke Antic, jadi supporter sekaligus official buat cheerleading team sekolah gue. whoaa kangen banget gue sama cheers! capeknya latian-latian, nervousnya kalo mau tampil, sakit-hati-tapi-harus-diterima pas dimarah-marahin sama pelatih, badan sakit-sakit abis bikin piramid baru. haha sumpah kangen banget.

apalagiiii keakraban sama angkatan atasnya hmm ka lubi, ka hesti a.k.a ka kuman -haha maaf ya ka, abis elo kecil banget sih, terus suka nyebelin lagi jadinya dipanggil kuman deh sama angkatan gue. tapi itu salah satu bentuk kasih sayang kok, really- , ka icha, ka vita, ka rena, ka tasya, ka vera, dll.

eeeeh tapi mengapa oh mengapa angkatan dua tahun dibawah gue itu sangat amat bermuka pengen-gue-ikat-terus-dicambuk-terus-dibakar-pake-api-unggun-kayak-marshmallow sih ? ampuuun deh sama kakak kelas aja disuruh senyum susah banget ckck. sama gue aja yang notabene anak cheers juga, dia juga ngga senyum atau nyapa kek atau apakek yang agak-agak sok kenal -oke aja karena dia anak cheers-.

lah ini nggaaaa ckck. sampe tadi kan gue ke senayan kan naik mobil anya, sama rara dan tiga orang anak cheers kelas 10. dan salah satunya itu adalah anak kelas 10 yang sangat kontroversial itu. di dalem mobil abis deh itu anak kita (gue, anya dan rara) sindir2 dan sedikit memaki. tapi ujung-ujungnya kita nasihatin soalnya udah capek juga nyindir-nyindir ini makhluk satu tapi ngga digubris sama dia.

nah, sekarang gue jadi bingung sebenernya awalnya gue mau nulis tentang apa disini. nulis tentang rasa kangen gue akan cheers atau para 2012 yang bermuka hampir mirip semua itu ya ? hahaha melenceng deh hm.

okedeh see you on another post!
but lassst, let me introduce you to cewe-cewe bermuka pengen-gue-ikat-terus-dicambuk-terus-dibakar-pake-api-unggun-kayak-marshmallow, a barbitch.

fungsi lain jari telunjuk

2009-10-29T22:37:00.001+07:00

gue menemukan thread ini di kaskus, i think it's funny enough, and the pictures are soo cute. yang buat ini bener-bener kreatif haha, dalam hati sebenernya gue berharap gambar-gambar ini tercetus dari dalam otak gue yang sayangnyaaaaa ngga begitu kreatif uhu. kenyataan memang terkadang menyakitkan..

okay sekarang mari kita lihat rupa dari salah satu jari kita.

ini telunjuk (dengan sedikit ilustrasi)

lihatlah bagaimana sebuah telunjuk yang bersahaja ini bertransformasi! ahaha.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

~~and last .. all the family of finger foot :)~~

see you on another finger transformation, guys!

empty

2009-10-29T21:25:00.000+07:00

.....................
....................
...................
..................
.................
................
...............
..............
.............
............
...........
..........
.........
........
.......
......
.....
....
...
..
.

i am that empty right now.

postscript II

2009-10-27T17:54:00.000+07:00

last but not least,
i ~~hate~~ my brother a lot!

heloo holiday, where are you ?

2009-10-27T17:53:00.000+07:00

gue kadang suka membayangkan diri gue dalam suatu situasi. dan sekarang gue lagi membayangkan diri gue di dalam mobil yang lagi meluncur di jalan tol, sama temen-temen gue, ontheway kemanaaa gitu, sambil buka kaca, dengerin lagu, ngobrol-ngobrol ketawa-ketawa dan ngeroko!

yeah, udah lama juga gue ngga ngeroko, kurang lebih 4bulanan ini. bagus bagus haha stop being smoker, ka! -tapi sekarang gue jadi perokok pasif, yang malah dampaknya lebih buruk - . dan sepertinya pembicaraan gue mulai melenceng.

i need refreshing. yeaa tapi gatau mau kemana hmm. mau cabut sekolah tapi mikir-mikir juga, kan udah kelas tiga. mau cari temen cabut juga susah jadinya , yah masuk gue ka, ada ulangan. yah ka, gue ga cabut deh, mau remed. dan lain-lain. jadi yah gue berhenti ngajakin temen-temen gue yang berpotensi untuk cabut. dan hal terakhir yang bisa gue lakuin hanya bertahan di sekolah sambil terus berteriak, 'heloo holiday, where are youuu?'

dash!

2009-10-21T21:56:00.000+07:00

'how we aren't listening to our head when we know being together is wrong ?

and how one of us is tired of always getting blame for everything that goes wrong?

and we want the other person to start talking responsibility.

but then again, we know it's because the relationship isn't going to work.

no matter how much we love the other person.

it's the way we almost like to hurt over people we really care about.'

i wrote that words about three years ago, in my diary -which i dont know where i put it since my eleven grade- , when i questioning the situation and the person.

and suddenly oneday i found that paper - which was ripped from the diary- in my mother's bag.

i feel like, ~~'damn! is that what my mom feels ?'~~ and im so speechless.

post script

2009-10-20T19:34:00.002+07:00

and suddenly i miss my grade eleven so much :(

whatsoever

2009-10-20T19:20:00.001+07:00

i dont know how to find you and where i can find you :( my question mark is why you're leaving ? you acted silly, pal.

you're a liar inside

2009-10-20T15:58:00.000+07:00

another lie again. you're such a damn liar!
some guys have the social intelligence to lie. yes, you have proved it. goodluck.

him

2009-10-19T07:57:00.000+07:00

he apologize. he said that he was sick and promises to meet me today. we'll see. we'll see.

risin black hole -think of love-

2009-10-16T12:57:00.003+07:00

eh kan gue denger lagu di prambors, judulnya think of love penyanyinya kalo ngga salah sih risin black hole (kata panda risin nya ngga pake huruf g) enaaak banget deh lagunya. liriknya kurang lebih gini,

when i think of love,
i just think of you.
i say i want you,
want you to be my wife

itu doang yang gue tau haha. tapi masa gue cari di google ngga ada deh huhu. kalo ada yang dapet lagu itu toloong ya bilang gue haha abis enak banget sih lagunya.

ps : eh eh gue udah pasang rbt lagu ini loh hihi :p

IPS (ilmu pasti sukses)

2009-10-15T14:02:00.002+07:00

gue suka sebel deh sama orang2 yang suka meng-underestimate anak2 sosial. kan temen gue nanya,

'eh lo ipa atau ips deh ka? gue lupa.'
terus gue jawab, 'ips doong haha.'
eh respon dia, 'ips kok bangga ckck.'

HEEEEEYYY is that bothering you ? emang cuma anak ipa doang yang boleh bangga ?
gue juga ke ips karena emang gue ngga tertarik di ipa dan lebih mampu di ips. maaaf yaaa gue ips bukan karena buangan ipa! padahal lo juga ips kaaan -,- bacot ajaaa loo hu.

mamanya faris metal

2009-10-15T13:20:00.001+07:00

eh eh kan gue lagi dirumah faris kaaan, terus nyokapnya telepon. maysaallah bawel banget -,- emang sih katanya faris emang bawel cuma pas denger langsung ckck shock gue :D okedeeeh lebay dikit.

terus kan ya mamanya nyuruh faris minjemin hape esianya ke si kimkim (adeknya), tapi kan esianya faris lagi di pinjem sama yoga gara2 hapenya yoga dijual buat nebus waktu ketilang gitu deh. eh terus nyokapnya marah2 gituuu masa hih serem banget HAHAHA kocak dah tapinya. yang sampe teriak2 gitu masa, ngakak gua pas dengernya haha tapi ngga pake suara sih ketawanya. bisa disangka kumpul kebo kali gua kalo bersuara haha.

okedeh sekian ah gue jadi ngga enak ngomongin emaknya pacar gue haha maaf ya tante, aji mumpung dah sekalian numpang eksis nicch di blog saya ya tan hahaha. pis lop en gaoel, daaaaah.

ps : KEEP ROCK AND ROLL, TAN !

2009-10-14T21:28:00.000+07:00

sama beje ; webcam gajelas haha.

dan teman-teman di sekolah dasar :)

dan teman-teman rumah ;) it's nice to see them growing up.

and this one is my best :)

Friend - Mocca

if anyone can fill my world with joy and happiness
and cast away all of my loniless
always there beside me when i am down
and never left my face eith frown

it’s you! yes, it is you my friend who can make it all come true
it’s you! yes, it is true a friend in need is a friend indeed

if anyone can fill my world with joy and happiness
and cast away all of my loniless
always there beside me when i am down
and never left my face eith frown

when you’re around i wrap my self in a pearly smile
when you’re around you light the bulb inside my head
when you’re around i wrap my self in a pearly smile
when you’re around you light the bulb inside my head

when you’re around i wrap my self in a pearly smile
when you’re around you light the bulb inside my head
when you’re around i wrap my self in a pearly smile
when you’re around you light the bulb inside my head

thank you for the friendship we've been through. it means a lot, guys.

anak sekolah

2009-10-14T19:12:00.000+07:00

huam males banget belajar buat ulangan besok. bahasa indonesia doang siih hem tapi susah juga kalo ngga baca sama sekali. ayo dong cepet2 kek hari jumat. cepet2 kek liburan. cepet2 kek lulus hahaha amin amiiin gue lulus, nem bagus, keterima di UI jurusan kriminologi hahaha lalalala sounds yummy :p

teman lalalala

2009-08-26T22:00:00.001+07:00

ini temen-temen rumah guee :D
yang pake baju pink namanya ka puput. yang pake baju kuning soft namanya yola.
they are my home girl :) haha ini lagi iseng ajaa yekan sehari sebelum puasa narsis2 dulu.

bete yaa

2009-08-26T09:31:00.000+07:00

hah males banget maan sekolah --' padahal tadinya mau cabut tuh, udah di sms sama tyo. tapi huam gue bareng faris sih, haha yang ada dimarahin gue ntar -______-'

tapi gue pengen pulang aaaa. mana tadi guru pada ngga ada lagi wooow males banget.
jadi tadi madesu sambil nyanyi-nyanyi pake handphone anggi, temen sebangku gue, haha jadi pengen ganti hape nih, busuk banget pake BB a.k.a Black Bakrie :D

heem ngapain yang asiknya, mau buka facebook ngga boleh sama petugas perpusnya z. coba di sekolah ada warnet haha asik kali nih kalo lagi bete gini.

lalaloveeeee

2009-08-25T14:42:00.000+07:00

lalala hari ini gue sebulanan loh sama faris hihi :) ckck baru sebulan yah, padahal rasanya lama banget haha. love youuu dear.

eeh gue mau cerita tentang kemaren hihi :)
kemaren gue ke dufan gitchuu sama faris hahaha akhirnya gue jumpa lagi sama halilintar dan arum jeram :wink:

jadi ceritanya kan, kemaren gue cabut sekolah kaan, terus jam6 faris jemput gue. paraah gue masih ngantuk gitu ckck gue pikir perginya siang-siangan dikit eeh ini sama aja kaya sekolah --'
yaudh teruus gue buru-buru deh tuh mandi terus pake seragam ( kan ceritanya mau berangkat sekolah ). untung baju ganti gitu2 udah gue siapin dari semalem, jadi pagi-paginya gue langsung caabs yekan.

terus gue ganti baju di rumah nenek, untuung nenek gue orangnya selow :D ngga lama faris jemput, terus kita ke circle k bentar, beli makan haha maklum belom ngebatalin. dan abis itu jeeeng melajulah kita menembus kemacetan jakarta di senin pagi menuju ancol.

heem pegel banget ternyata ke ancol naik motor ckck. kita sampe ancol jam7 pagi maaan, gelaaaa kali kita mau ngepel pantai apa yah haha. yaudah deh demi membunuh waktu 4 jam nungguin dufa buka, kita ke mcd aja. mana mcd baru buka jam8 hah sialan jadi deh kita sejam liatin pantai ancol yang isinya sampah semua.

setelah berjam-jam nunggu, akhirnya jam 11 kita masuk nih ke dufan. untungnyaa jengjeeng inilah buah dari kesabaran gue haha oke lebay dikit ah, masuk dufan cuma 45.000 maaaan ahahaha girang gue.

huam tapi kok dufan isinya orang-orang bermata garis semua gitu yah eet parah banget, padahal kan mau sekalian tepe-tepe gitchuu haha.

pertama-tama kita naik bianglala -___- pemanasan dulu yekan :)
kedua, naik kora-kora, seumur hidup ini nih pertama kalinya gue naik kora-kora aaaaa, call me jerk, but i really really afraid of this one.
ketiga, istana boneka haha ngadem dulu deh.
keempat, naik hem apaya, ohiya roller coaster mini.
kelima, rumah kaca
keenam, rumah miring ( apa banget nih sumpah dua rumah ini ngga jelas )
ketujuh, niagara-gara
kedelapan, extreme log
kesembilan, perang bintang
kesepuluh, ontang-anting, fhew pertama kalinya juga gue naik ini haha, i love it from the start.
kesebelas, halilintar
keduabelas, arum jeram
terus gue gajadi naik tornado gara-gara udah mual haha.

abis itu gue pulang kaaaan ( cerita cepet deh nih gue, capek banget ngetiknya --' ) terus si faris ngajak nonton di teraskota. wow cool banget naik motor dari dufan ke teraskota. dari jakarta utara ke bsd haha mantep, nih hasilnya tulang ekor gue nyut-nyutan.

haaaah biarin deh jauh-jauh tapi seneng juga. 14 jam, dari jam6 pagi sampe 8malem sama faris hilman :) mabok-mabok deh tuh gue liat tampang dia haha. well, that's all from me ( sotoooy ) udah ngga tahan dengerin curhatan mbah gue disamping --' pengen kabur aja jadinyaaaa.

do fun, im coming !

2009-08-23T20:07:00.000+07:00

amiiinnn. jadi kek yaa besok ckck dari taun jebot gue pengen ke dufan haha okaay sedikit terdengar norak mungkin, tapi i dont carrreeeeeee !

yang penting dufaaaaaaaan :D

2009-08-23T12:23:00.000+07:00

25 Juli 2009, namanya faris hilman.

haha hem agak-agak jijay gimanaaa gitu ya kalo nulis tanggal jadian dimana2 :D

tapi ngga apa-apa deh, sekali-sekali pacar gue ngeksis di blog gue haha.

pertama kalinya nih gue pacaran satu sekolah. yaoloh, awalnya ngga kebayang akan ketemu setiap hari ckck. pasti bosen banget ngeliat tampang bloon dan ngga bisa mingkemnya haha.

tapi ternyataaa, JENGJEEENG.. emang rada bosen ketemu tiap hari. hahaha. becanda yaang muah :kiss:

tapi cuma dia nih yang setia nungguin gue selama heem 2bulan gitu deh kalo ngga salah haha. padahaahal udah gue tolak ckck. tapi yaa beruntung juga nih anak bisa bikin gue luluh dengan sepikan level bawahnya hahaha. yoi deh segitu aja ah tentang pacar gue. kalo kebanyakan ntar dia eksis lagi :D

ika puasa ? alhamdulillah masih :)

2009-08-23T11:37:00.000+07:00

HAPPY FASTIIIIIINNNGGG :)

maaaan hauuussss --' haha percuma banget gue puasa nahan laper dan haus tapi ngga nahan mulut ckck pahala gua lenyap ini mah. tapi yaaaa gimana yah, huam bagus banget nih gue ngeliat iklan-iklan di tivi, apalagi liat iklan restoran fast food 14022 haha manteep coy.

and theeeen sekarang ade gue lagi siap-siap mau berbuka gitchuu, kan dia puasa setengah hari. haha what a beautiful world for being a kid :)

now, gue mendengar pintu kulkas terbuka, dan celotehan adek gue 'markisa ya bu, markisa' haha. okaaaaay selamat berbuka deh de yaaaa, tenang aja gue tahan ko puasa biarpun kamu makan disamping aku :sigh: